I made a choice recently, not a choice to be something new, but a choice to embrace what I have always been. From a very young age, perhaps around the age of five, I wanted to be a boy. I played with all the boys at recess, dressed like a boy, and drew a heart…
Autor: benne1rl
1 Year Ago Today…
Friends, today is a big day for me. Exactly one year ago today, I was taken to the hospital. For the second time. Exactly one year ago today, I was writing suicide notes to my family and friends, making sure I covered my bases so no one would feel as though it was their fault….
Mania and Me: Realities of Mental Illness in a World that Romanticizes It.
Romanticizing mental illness? Sounds pretty ridiculous right? Right. Unfortunately, this sort of thing happens everywhere. From television, to books, to media, to everyday conversations. Don’t believe me? Let me give you an example: Mania. For those of you who are „definition people,“ like me, I got you. According to Merriam Webster, mania is defined as,…
Maybe We’re All Just Looking to Feel „Unlost“
There’s a song by The Maine titled „(Un)Lost“ The lyrics to the chorus go a little like this: „Unaware of where I’m going, Or if I’m going anywhere at all, But I know I’ll take the leap, If it is worth the fall. So long as the blood keeps flowing I’ll set a sail and…
The Rain on a Cold Night
I have been asked more than once what it is I believe in. On some days, I explain that I believe in the fundamental goodness of all people. Some days, it is the power that the love we show one another, from the stranger on the sidewalk to our own mothers and fathers, can have….
2016: This Is For You
One of my favorite poets is Tyler Knott Gregson. I can always seem to find myself in his words, and always find myself envious of the way he can capture the most simple things in a beautiful way. His latest is a poem for New Years, and I wanted to share it with you all:…
There is Beauty in Our Suffering if We Only Remember to Search For It
I feel comfortable arguing that if you’re reading this, you have suffered in some way, shape, or form at some point in your life. I feel comfortable making this statement because suffering plays an inevitable role in the life of every single human being that has ever walked this earth. We all suffer. We will…
To My Best Friend: Thank You for Always Finding Me
Sooner or later, we all lose ourselves. We all eventually taste the bitterness of failure and disappointment. The fog of life eventually overwhelms us all, leaving us heartbroken, distraught, and begging to be found. I have been perpetually lost for a while now, and yet you have never stopped trying to find me. You, my…
The Road to Recovery Will Take More Than a Speech: An Open Letter to Mr. Trump
I am gay, and I am petrified. But I’m not alone. I ask one thing of people following the election results: please do not dismiss my fears. Please do not undermine how unsafe I feel. Please do not tell me I am overreacting. Throughout this election season, I have been made out to be lesser….
An Open Letter to my Old Residents
To the residents of Larzelere 2nd West, I cannot begin a letter to you without first apologizing. Without first apologizing for leaving you before the year was over, for not being strong enough to push through, for not being responsible enough to get more help before things escalated too far… I could go on, but…
Love Is Almost Always The Answer
Today is World Mental Health Day. This week is National Coming Out Week. These two things are not always mutually exclusive… I have been „out“ since 8th grade. I was also diagnosed with depression in 8th grade, only to later have anxiety and borderline personality disorder thrown into that mental health cocktail. The unfortunate reality is…
On the Other Side of Madness
I write a lot about hope and doing better, but I know that doesn’t give my fights and my battles justice. It wasn’t as if I got out of the hospital the second time and suddenly all was well in the world… In fact, it’s quite the contrary. I wanted to write a little bit…
Learning to Live Today 