For those of you who don’t know what this is in response to, here in the link to a fantastic article:
Let me start off by saying that my parents, by no means, handled my coming out inadequately. Though not very in touch with God at that point in time, they were both incredibly shocked, and went through a process where they had to learn how to come to grips with it. However, they loved me every step of the way. Never once did them being aware of my sexuality interfere with the love the possessed for me. My parents and I learned and grew together as we made it through that process, and I am thankful for the experience I had with my family when expressing my sexuality. They have remained my strength when I am unable to be strong on my own, and I can never thank them enough for the endless amounts of love they have in their heart.
Unfortunately, I know first hand that is not the case for everyone. My family and I have grown in our relationship with God throughout the years, and by no means has my sexuality hindered that for any of us. However, for someone very near and dear to my heart, the coming out process has not been taken so lightly. Because of her family’s impeccable faith in God and the Catholic religion, which by no means is a facade, the process has been trying to say the least. This faith is not a faith that only exists on Sundays, nor is it a faith that does not permeate the entire being of the family unit. This is a faith that is very true, and very pure at heart. Loving their daughter is not the issue, but accepting and embracing her decisions is. Despite how challenging this can be for her, and for myself, I cannot find myself wholly irritated or ignorant towards their feelings. Generations upon generations have embraced the Catholic Church and all of their rules. Generations upon generations have utilized the Catholic Church as a means of strengthening their relationship with God. Therefore, to me, it is logical and expected for this pain and unacceptance to be present in their hearts. I do not believe it is meant with menace in their hearts, I simply believe it is their way of staying true to their faith.
Because of this, I find that I cannot be too angry. I know what it means to believe in something so wholeheartedly. I understand the desire to follow what is believed to be the word of God, and I know the importance that God serves to both the girl I love and her family. When I do find myself angry at the situation, I pray to God for love, patience, and understanding. I must remind myself to understand the process they are going through, and I must keep hope that they will one day understand that no love defies God’s plan.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change” -Reinhold Niebuhr
It is because of this current circumstance that I am writing a response to the aforementioned article, not in response to my parent’s, but in response to the parents around the world who are having a hard time coming to terms:
3 Promises to a Christian Parent:
1. My love for Him is not dismantled by my love for her.
My relationship with God does not, and will not, falter. My relationship with the church may wobble from time to time due to the criticism and judgement some of His children will give to me. However, I will not let the hatred of others affect my love for Him. My love for Him is sound and steady, and my relationship with Him is my own. Notably, my love for His children will also not falter. For through Him, I have learned forgiveness.
I will not lose sight of He who has guided me from the very beginning, and I will not lose sight of He who will be there until the end. My love for Him is eternal, and our love for each other is strengthened through Him.
2. My love is not defying His plan for me.
I believe God has led me to where I am today. I do not believe He would guide His children down a path that He would not believe in. He has put this individual in my life for a reason. He has brought her to me, and He has instilled a love in both of our hearts. He has led me my whole life, and I do not believe He has led me astray.
You may not believe this. You may never believe that I have not went against His will, but I will never stop trying. I believe in this love, and I believe in His acceptance and approval of this love. I believe He loves all His children, and I believe He would not create a child He was destined to hate. I believe He has made me in His love, with His love, for His love. Do not fear His love for me. I believe He will stand by me, and I only hope you will one day learn to do the same.
3. My love for her does not define the individual I am.
My love for her does not negate the things you have always been proud of. I am intelligent, hardworking, driven, caring, compassionate, funny, friendly, and so much more. I am the being He created, and my sexuality does not nullify the good I have done, nor does it discourage me from the good I am capable of. My sexuality has not instilled an evil in my heart, if anything, it has encouraged more good to surface. I am still the girl you were proud of a year ago.
I have known hatred, and yet I still love those who have hated. I have known pain, and yet I have never intended to inflict it on those who have inflicted it on me. I have known darkness, and yet I find light through Him, and shine it on those, even if they contributed to my darkness. I will serve through Him and for Him. I have not changed, nor do I intend to. I am as me as I have ever been, and I am as alive with His love as I have ever hoped to be.
I am me. I am not my sexuality. I am not the hatred from those who do not have enough love in their hearts to give. I am not the darkness those who have not seen the light portray me to be. I am me. I am His. I forever will be.
“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For you are with me, Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me” -Psalm 23
*Though this uses pronouns such as her and she, it is meant to be encompassing to all members of the LGBTQ community who have or will ever face this issue. It is written with her and she for the sole purpose that it is most relevant to the individual in my life that is experiencing this*